kelas inspirasi that inspired

Growing up is not a choice. It’s one of the exact phases of everyone’s life that will happen during human being’s time period. Growing up is not easy, and is, perhaps, especially for me, only exciting  when i was a little child. Children in my age that time couldn’t wait to grow up.  making money to live and do whatever we want by our own, getting over the permission from parents, being a bestfriend of a freedom,  and, one of the most important one, being someone we really wanted to be that time. a doctor. An architect. A teacher. A police officer. Whatever. For me personally, “i want to be a teacher” is an answer to all those kind of what-do-you-want-to-be-in-the-future questions.

Who says growing up is easy?. No one will say so. In fact when you grow up, you know there are two kind of things; giving up with your life or going ahead to whatever you want for the future. Therefore, there is only one kind of person who can survive a grown-up life; one who has a dream.

Well, those words are simply a kind opening for a story i want to tell you here.

one fine morning, i read my friend’s story about her involvement in a social and voluntary project in Jakarta named kelas inspirasi. I thought it was such kind of seminar to share an inspiration kind of stuff. But i found out that it was way greater than that. Kelas inspirasi is one of indonesia mengajar project specially made for all selected professionals who have a very tight daily schedule  to join in a voluntary activity. They all will gather in one group to go to elementary schools to share or introduce their profession to children in the class. i was amazed and had a wish to be part of those generous professionals but it seemed i should throw the wish away since they didn’t open for another batch that time. But once again my wish was heard and came true when in a month later one of the organizing committee emailed me and welcomed me to apply for another batch which will be done in Depok.  I applied for a position so hurriedly, and got an information 2 weeks later that i was accepted.

We gathered several times before the D-Day on weekends, and they were all exciting meetings i’ve ever had. I met my team consisting of inspiring and extraordinary people from very dfferent background, culture, and age, which is, for me, so much special experience. Even if it was the very first time we met, but we were attached like brothers and sisters. One learning i got from this; difference is miraculously connected with one pure purpose. And the purpose in our case is sharing a dream to children in small part of Indonesia.

We were briefed by mr. Anies baswedan, the most enchanting and super extraordinary person who believes that one simple way to make Indonesia better in the future, is to fix up the education for children and prepare them as an asset of Indonesia in the future. Couldn’t agree more, mr. Anies. Here it is. We wouldn’t just nod our head and shouted that we agree, but we would go down there to the field together. We were very keen to involve as part of the project to make sure that indonesian children, who will replace us, will never be scared to put their dreams higher than their eyes can see. Mr. Anies said that it was as if we blow up a candle. As the candles keep the light on, it will shine the future brighter than the sun does.

After those exciting meetings, we finally arrived there, in the D-Day. I was so happy to wake up in my earliest morning, before the sun came and hurt my eyes, and went to depok to an elementary school named depok jaya 2. I was ready with my properties for the class.

Our team consisted of great people with different backgrounds. An engineer, a lecturer, a trainer, an IT consultant, a human resource officer, a reporter, a journalist, an entrepreneur, a graphic designer, all is gathered in one team with the same purpose. they all are grown up. Maybe i was one of the youngest who just came to the jungle. But i felt a clear connection. I couldn’t see anything more beautiful than that.

I finally came to the class. those little faces i saw were curios, as if there was a thing they didn’t know yet. Not just a thing. So many things, i assumed. I thought i wanted stay there in a long time. not just 35 minutes of each classes like what had been regulated. I thought i wanted to sit there and had them in a circle. I thought i wanted to tell them a story, of how i had been growing up.

I communicated with them through a story i told of how i was spending my daily life at work and with a game i threw so that they would more understand of what i actually do. They all laughed together. They put faces as if they were happy. I assumed, yes, they were. I was so proud when they put their hands at the highest when i asked a question or when i challenged them to vonluntarily came to the front of the class. and i was so much prouder when they shouted the loudest when they were asked what they want to be in the future. With bright eyes. With honest motions. With cheerful expression. I can hear their biggest spirit from their voice. Since then, the scene walked in a slow-motion mode. It brought me a flashback of how i mentioned what i wanted to be when i was in their age. A gentle reminder, that i had a dream too.

Here, i told you what i gladly got from my experience last week involving in this kelas inspirasi project:      

• Being a teacher is not as easy as you might see. it’s a worth-appreciating occupation that, in my opinion, should gain the highest amount of money, or, many kind of appreciation.
•  Remembering my childhood and what happened back then can bring back my energy
• In the middle of my super busy time for my own life, my heart is recharged already by doing something for others
•  Being a grown-up, like what i have said, is not easy. Several times in my life, i almost gave it up. And this experience simply reminded  me that i can never stop to fight since i have a dream. as long as i never stop, i will arrive.
• the resolution point of 'doing some voluntary activities' is, excitedly and happily, checked

-          

what if one of those faces is our future most influential leader of indonesia? 

once upon a time there was a teacher telling her students of something really important when her students asked about how they could reach their dreams. the teacher grabbed a loop and a paper and asked her students to go out of the class, to find a sunlight. the teacher put the loop above the paper under the sunlight, and asked the students to put attention on it. in minutes, the paper was burnt and the students were amazed. she said, "my dear, if we focus on one thing, we can burn the world". 

i tell the children to let the dream fly to the highest place their eyes cannot see right now. 
"but don't forget to tell it 'see you very soon'", i said.  

when you can see the sound

it might be only a group of people with their music instruments on stage. it might be only a perfect lighting that touched our emotion. it might be only that kind of crowd making you like another one. it  might be only a hand clapping that was festive and made you so happy. it might be only a sound that played with your heart beats. it might be only that you saw those people in the posters hanging on your room's wall.  

but do you realize that it might not only that? 

you came. you saw their incredible acts. you listened to the awesomeness. you felt the wind that contributed. all of your senses were decently involved. 

so i am sending a prayer of thanks to God that i had experienced a lot of concert jumping around these times and feeling recharged already. and i would always feel happy to be able to check my 2013 resolution 's point number 15. becoming a concert jumper to see those incredible performances is -ah, of course - checked.

Sigur Ros - Jakarta 2013 
Photos were taken by Agung 

to be a part of them again

got a story to tell about my pleasure having a big bang out of telling my life story in front of the people in AIESEC exchange fair 2013 in ITB several weeks ago. i was invited to be a speaker as an alumni to tell my life story since i was in collage, until now as a woman having a career in jakarta. the objective of my coming is to showcase what i have got and what i have experienced being a part of this international organization. i dont have to sit there in front of people for hours since i can only tell you in a second or even less. the thing is, i am always speechless when being asked. it's just beyond incredible. far more than words can tell.

but the truth is, i've been being happy since that time, being able to tell and share. i don't know if one of them got it what i told, but the point is, we'll never know when and where we can shout a sentence or more and there's a person who will remember it and get something from it. so this is the art of sharing.

and i don't know how big my contribution for this event specifically and for this organization generally, but, hopefully, my point number 10 in bucket list of 2013 , can be considered checked ! 

when a documentation video turns into a short movie, that's us

i don't know, i just realized that our rendezvous should be recorded. so i recommended to make such a documentation video but it turned out another idea was popped up.....

one maker, two talents, different places, this was thoroughly done in hours. 

love in the rain. 

and opened thought about relationship

jam sudah menunjukan pukul 00.21. seharusnya saya sudah tidur untuk menyimpan energi untuk besok bertempur lagi di kantor. ah, tapi lagu ane brun yang judulnya little lights masih mengalun pelan-pelan dari laptop saya, dan waktu akan sangat sayang sekali apabila terbuang begitu saja tanpa menikmati nada-nadanya. lalu, secara acak, saya tiba-tiba terpikir tentang sebuah hubungan. mungkin karena saat makan malam barusan dikantor, saya menonton sebuah film, yang entah judulnya apa. ceritanya, tentang seorang agen CIA yang sedang menjalani komitmen yang sangat serius dengan seorang wanita. wanitanya tidak tau kalau laki-laki itu adalah agen CIA. ya, begitulah. satu hal yang sangat menarik perhatian saya, adalah adegan mereka sedang berpegangan tangan dan menangis bersama-sama. adegan seperti itu, sempat membuat saya merasa hangat dan terharu. pada saat-saat tertentu waktu dulu. dan yang paling buat saya aneh, ketika lihat adegan seperti itu lagi barusan, saya tidak merasakan hal apapun juga. tidak hangat, tidak tersentuh, dan menurut saya itu bukanlah adegan yang manis.pun tidak membuat saya ingin mempunyai pasangan hidup yang dapat menjadi tempat berbagi dalam suka dan duka. well, saya mulai khawatir pada diri saya sendiri. apa yang terjadi?.

lalu saya berpikir dan meneliti apa yang sedang terjadi. apakah saya normal  merasa sangatlah belum waktunya untuk mempunyai pasangan hidup?. apakah saya normal merasa sangat tidak mau menikah?. menikah menurut saya saat ini adalah hal yang paling saya hindari. apakah saya normal merasa bosan melihat kehidupan orang yang sudah berkeluarga?. apakah saya normal tidak tertarik mendengar cerita teman saya yang baru menikah?. kembali lagi seperti apa yang saya katakan. terkadang jawaban dari berbagai pertanyaan itu tidak begitu saja datang seperti harta karun. karena jawaban itu kita sendiri yang buat.

merasa memiliki tanggung jawab akan jawaban dari berbagai pertanyaan itu, akhirnya saya menemukan jawabannya sendiri melalui cerita yang saya rangkai dari dulu kala sampai sekarang.

saya ingat, dari tahun 2008, saya tidak pernah terlibat dalam hubungan yang serius. ya, serius. secara umum, keseriusan sebuah hubungan itu digambarkan oleh ikatan yang dikenal dengan relationship, kan?. ya, coba lihat facebook. a is in a relationship with b, whatsoever. dengan begitu, semua orang tau, bahwa a terlibat hubungan serius dengan b. mereka berdua mempunyai komitmen untuk memiliki satu sama lain. mereka terikat dalam sebuah hubungan yang serius. saya selalu takut mempunyai komitmen seperti itu. maka, sejak tahun 2008, ketika dekat dengan seorang laki-laki, saya tidak pernah benar-benar berada dalam sebuah hubungan itu. kita bersama, tapi saya takut memberikan kita berdua judul yang sangat mengikat. banyak yang bilang itu karena saya tidak mau sakit hati. ada yang bilang saya trauma terhadap laki-laki dan tidak mau disakiti lagi. ada yang bilang karena saya masih mau berhubungan dengan laki-laki lain juga secara bebas. dan berbagai macam alasan lainnya. padahal, alasan-alasan tersebut tidak ada yang benar.

menurut saya, ketika kalian berada dalam sebuah hubungan dengan seseorang, dengan title 'in a relationship', berarti kalian berada dalam sebuah janji yang sakral. kalian berada dalam ikatan sebuah komitmen yang kokoh. saya melihat itu sebagai suatu anugrah, sesuatu yang indah, bukan sesuatu yang menakutkan dan harus dihindari. ketika dua insan saling menerima kelemahan masing-masing, ketika dua orang bisa meredam ego manusia mereka masing-masing dan hidup dengan damai berdampingan, ketika dua orang sudah hatam pelajaran ilmu ikhlas untuk menerima kelemahan satu sama lain, ketika dua orang bisa berjanji dan menepatinya bersama-sama, ketika cinta dan kasih sayang itu benar-benar mereka bagi satu sama lain, bukankah hal seperti itu adalah indah?. menurut saya iya. indah sekali.

dengan pemikiran saya seperti itu, mungkin akan sangat kontradiktif dengan keputusan yang saya ambil beberapa waktu yang lalu. ya, kemarin saya sempat berhubungan dengan seseorang dalam waktu yang cukup lama. tidak ada yang salah antara kita berdua. saya bisa bilang semuanya berjalan dengan sangat baik. tetapi, ketika muncul pilihan dan saya ditanya untuk berpisah sama sekali atau berkomitmen dengan serius, saya memilih untuk berpisah sama sekali.

saya tau ini terdengar bertentangan, tetapi saya punya alasan atas semuanya...

sebuah hubungan itu indah dan harus dijaga keindahannya. sebuah hubungan yang serius, itu diikat secara sempurna sehingga kedua insan yang dipersatukan bersatu membentuk sesuatu yang baru dan indah. lalu diri saya, tidak ada yang lebih tau tentang diri saya sendiri selain saya. saya masih menjadi  manusia yang belum cukup dewasa untuk menahan ego karena cinta ataupun menerima kekurangan orang lain. jujur saya adalah orang yang tidak mau kalah dengan orang lain, walaupun itu dengan orang terdekat saya sekalipun. saya selalu berpikir saya benar, walaupun sebenarnya saya sering berbuat salah. saya tidak suka diatur oleh orang lain, walaupun itu sebenarnya untuk kebaikan saya sendiri. saya tidak suka ketika saya tidak dibiarkan bebas, walaupun terkadang saya sadar itu karena saya terlalu bersikap sembarangan. saya masih memusatkan poros dari semuanya terhadap diri saya. padahal poros kehidupan itu harusnya ada dimana-mana. saya cepat merasa bosan, padahal terkadang kita harus menggali makna akan sesuatu dalam waktu yang lebih lama. dan itulah kenapa saya tidak pernah mau menjalani hubungan serius atau terikat dengan orang. bukan karena pasangannya, bukan karena hubungannya, bukan karena waktu, tetapi karena diri saya sendiri. saya belum cukup dewasa untuk mempunyai komitmen serius yang harus saya jaga keindahannya sampai waktu tiba untuk memisahkan.

dan seperti ini dalam waktu yang lamapun saya tidak menyesalinya. sudah bertahun-tahun saya menjalani hidup saya seperti ini dan merasa bahagia. saya sadar, itupun bukan salah saya menjadi seperti itu. saya sadar ini adalah kehidupan orang muda, yang harus tumbuh dan berkembang menjadi lebih baik karena arahan dan usaha dirinya sendiri. bukan karena orang lain. orang datang dan pergi memberi pelajaran yang akhirnya akan selalu diimplementasikan. dan semakin banyak orangnya, semakin banyak pelajarannya. dan saya bersyukur akan itu, karena saya yakin Tuhan sedang membentuk saya agar saya siap dengan hubungan serius itu.

jadi, apabila diantara kalian sempat berpikir bahwa saya tidak mau punya hubungan serius karena takut sakit hati atau karena takut laki-laki, kalian salah besar. saya hanya sedang bertransformasi menjadi seseorang yang baru agar nanti, ketika saya bertemu dengan orang itu, saya sudah siap menjaga ikatan itu sampai akhir waktu. dan hidup bahagia selama-lamanya seperti cerita dongeng anak kecil.

seperti seorang pemain piano yang melatih tangan kiri dan tangan kanannya secara terpisah untuk bisa memainkan piano. ia tidak akan menggabungkan langsung kedua tangannya karena pasti akan ada kesalahan entah dari tangan kiri atau tangan kanannya. saya hanya sedang dilatih, dan dibelahan dunia mana saya tidak tau, seseorang itu sedang benar-benar dilatih juga. suatu saat kita berdua akan mengalunkan melodi kehidupan paling sempurna didunia, selamanya dan hanya satu kali, sampai waktu memisahkan kita berdua.

jujur, itu terdengar menggelikan untuk saya. sungguh. belum. hanya masalah waktu.

menelusuri sejarah kota jakarta, kota saya tinggal sekarang

ajak saya jalan-jalan, maka saya bahagia. tidak ada yang bisa membuat saya lebih bahagia lagi selain mengunjungi tempat yang belum pernah saya kunjungi sebelumnya. dan orang-orang yang menemani saya saat saya bepergian, orang-orang yang secara alam bawah sadar  pertama kali saya ingat dalam momen apapun. entah itu dekat saat ini atau jauh. karena momen ketika pergi-pergian adalah momen spiritual tersendiri untuk saya, kemanapun itu. dan kemanapun saya mendatagi tempat baru, akan selalu terekam.

kota tua jakarta adalah satu tempat biasa saja yang menurut saya tidak biasa untuk dikunjungi. karena pertama kali saya pergi kesana. pengalaman pertama kali itu tidak akan pernah bisa biasa saja...

Seperti bermain-main dengan benda seharga tiga ribu rupiah ditengah terik matahari 

duduk sambil lihat pemandangan kota tua lewat jendela  

jus nanas dan jambu ditengah panasnya kota jakarta yang jahat 

 pemandangan seperti ini

 tempat yang menarik seperti ini

 bangunan menarik seperti ini

 momen ketika sekelompok fotografer tiba-tiba meminta kita menjadi model dan pose seperti ini

pengalaman pertama itu, tidak akan pernah ada yang biasa saja

lebih bahagia lagi, karena salah satu dari berbagai daftar bucket list saya, yaitu mengunjungi tempat baru minimal satu kali dalam dua bulan, masih bisa saya coret ! bagi siapapun kamu, ayo pergi ketempat yang belum pernah dikunjungi ! 

cerita tentang percakapan tanpa kata

zhongshan dongyi lu, atau terkenal dengan sebutan the bund, terang dimalam hari. lampu keemasan terpantul pada gedung-gedung tinggi klasik bergaya eropa. sudah dari jam 1 siang saya berjalan sekitar sini sendirian. duduk dengan novel dan earphone didepan oriental tower dan juangpu jiang river, dengar suara jam besar pada gedung dibelakang yang berbunyi mungkin setiap 15 menit sekali, sampai malam tiba dan anginnya sangat jahat, membuat kaki dan tangan saya beku. sekitar 4 derajat saat itu. dingin sekali.

saya pergi ke sebuah kafe bernama nissei land untuk menyelamatkan diri. saya pesan hot milk tea dan duduk disalah satu mejanya sambil menikmati apa yang saya lihat. antara lain gedung-gedung indah dan orang lalu lalang dengan pakaian tebalnya.

seorang laki-laki bermata sipit dengan beer dan iPhone ditangannya mencari tempat duduk. meja didepan saya kosong. pun meja dibelakang saya. tetapi entah mengapa dia menghapiri saya, berbicara dengan sopan dalam bahasa mandarin. ah, dia pikir saya orang sini. lagi-lagi seperti itu. saya bilang saya tidak bisa berbahasa mandarin. dia tersenyum tetapi tidak menjawab apapun. akhirnya dia memberi isyarat untuk ikut duduk dimeja saya. kebetulan kursi didepan saya kosong. saya mempersilahkannya dengan bahasa isyarat juga.

mengetahui dia tidak bisa bahasa inggris, saya diam saja dan melanjutkan kesibukan saya dengan milktea, earphone dan lamunan. sesekali saya mencuri pandang pada pria dihadapan saya ini dibalik gelas milk tea yang besar. matanya sedang tertuju pada saya, dibalik botol beernya.

dan tidak hanya satu kali, mata kita bertemu lagi. dan membuat suasana menjadi canggung. ketika saya tau dia tau bahwa saya melihatnya, langsung saya alihkan pandangan saya. pun dia melakukan hal yang sama. terus seperti itu.

tetapi kita berdua hanya diam.

beberapa menit berlalu dan kita berdua tidak juga berbahasa. malam semakin dingin dan milktea saya sudah habis. saya lihat beernya juga sudah habis. saya tidak tau, apakah dia tau bahwa dikepala saya penuh sekali kalimat yang ingin keluar. saya juga tidak tau, apakah dia merasakan hal yang sama. mungkin tidak. mungkin iya.

lalu dia mengangkat tubuhnya. tubuhnya seolah mengisyaratkan bahwa ia  akan pulang. ia kembali mengucapkan sesuatu dalam bahasa mandarin yang saya tidak mengerti artinya apa.  "saya pulang dulu, sampai jumpa dikemudian hari. senang bertemu tanpa berbicara dengan anda", itulah asumsi saya yang dia katakan. entah benar, entah tidak, yang pasti, inilah yang saya katakan padanya dalam bahasa inggris: "see you again someday, somewhere".

walaupun saya berharap ada lingua franca yang bisa kita berdua gunakan, pada akhirnya kita berdua berbicara dengan bahasa kita masing-masing dan mengartikan semuanya dengan persepsi kita masing-masing juga. saya pikir dia barusan meminta izin untuk pulang, mungkin tidak. saya pikir dia ingin diam disini lebih lama, mungkin tidak. saya pikir dia tau apa yang saya pikirkan. semoga iya.

    zhongshan dong lu, 27 februari 2013 

(sebuah cerita yang saya kutip dari sebuah notes yang selalu saya bawa-bawa ketika bepergian) 

a story of old best friends

we were in the same elementary school. we were not even close, we rarely talked, even we didn't talk, as long as i remember. one thing i still can recall, when we were a classmate for 4 years, i disliked him for being smarter than me. if i were in the second rank, he was the one who took the first position. and if he was finally kicked out from the first position in the class, i, unhappily, was in the third.
time went by, until we should move on to junior high school. we went to the same school, and destiny took us to the same class in the 3rd year. from that phase of time, a story of old best friends began and still continue until this very moment. we met other incredible and lovable people and always cherrished every moment together in a group. we did a sleepover, we danced and sang together without taking a glace at the time, we had those unforgettable jokes, we had our own favorite restaurant, we had our own basecamp in which we put our things together, from childish dolls, comic books, games, barbie, and other stuff. we talked and told stories there until noon ad the day got darker. my favorite spot was in the window we can sit on and the roof we can see the view from. we told a dream, we confessed, we shared secrets. we were a happy child who had best friends to enjoy the days with. those things, in my age, were a source of love and happiness i will always recall 'till i become a grown-up woman.
and that best friendship still showed its power until we should move on to senior high school. we went to different senior high schools, but the story remained lovely. we went together for a birthday celebration of one of us. we went out for a weekend hang out. and even we had another environment and made some other friendships in our own, we still made it to be together. we had different stories but those were things we shared together.
and continued to collage. we separated to study in ITB, UNPAD, UNJANI, and else. and it continued again until we realize that the time never took us apart like this but now. here comes the time that makes us realize that we were not a child anymore, and time had taken us to our very own path to reach the future we always talked about in our childhood. and the time took us all really far. two moments i felt sad the most were when i should took devi to go to surabaya for her work, and wahyu's farewell since he should live in shanghai to catch his dream to be an architect.

and the most sentimental moment i got was the time i came to shanghai for a visit. i and wahyu talked a lot about our childhood. that was the time i realized i missed him so much. i missed my bestfriends with our childhood stories in it. we realize, we have grown up and we have grown apart.

i am crazily missing the time we did not do anything but silly stuff. i and wahyu were telling a stupid joke before we slept and that brought me to a dream of our mighty time back then when we were young. loosing the intense absence of bestfriends for a ride to our own future, will never bring me down. since i will always know where to find them and come back home.

bestfriends are home you can hide in, partners you can sing along together with, laugh crazy out loud with, a shoulder you can burst into tears on, ones who will always be there in the happiness and sadness. 

now, i see my bestfriends as a great treasure to tell. some of them are settled with their life, to become an economist, to become a doctor, to become an architect, to become a marketer, and what makes me proud the most, we are always to become a best friend forever

my story in the land above the sea

isn’t life so amazing when it can give surprises to you?. isn’t it lovely to have brand new things each days and be able to experience it a lot?. a word “new” to me is one significant thing that can create a strong excitement in life. so i will always try to seek the opportunities to find some new things, don’t you do the same?. i mean, when you start to realize that clock starts to tick slowly, you know you need to find something new to buzz you.

that was actually what happened to me several times ago. no alarm, no surprises, same morning, same routine, so i hit internet and look for some enlightenment. it ended up with a conversation, a very random conversation, with my bestfriend who’s currently working in shanghai. i randomly (again) said that i want to come for a visit, but still had no clue about that. so it was just a total random talk. Kinda sad to think that to travel to shanghai is an impossible thing to happen while we got more and more excited to talk all crazy stuff we could do there.

but then i remembered someone talked to me that if you think a good thing doesn’t come to you, you should, yourself, create those good things to happen. I know those surprises will never come to them who just stay and wait, but they will come to those who think.

and in the most impossible time to do travel, with these and those impossibilities, i booked a flight ticket, grabbed my passport, applied for a visa, and finally flew to shanghai. and it just happened in two weeks after i had that random idea. to let the life give me more surprises and new things to see.

i sat alone at the airport with one big luggage, and still couldn't believe what i had done. but i had done it anyway, so what i could do, was just going with the flow and let days ahead give an unforgettable surprises. and it was true. all is unforgettable. i flew alone, with 2 pills of antimo since i hate to fly, and arrived in shanghai, after a quick transit in KL, at 1 am in the morning. that appearance i saw at the first time in the airport, was so much grand and could make me happy to death. my best friend i had not met for years, stood in front of the gate to pick me up. from those moments, all good things started to happen one by one. 

keep having a random thought, and make them happened. sometimes it will not always be easy. but if you keep thinking very hard and make a move, you will always find a way. that's what happened to me when this trip suddenly happened around all those impossibilities. and my happiness is fully recharged already. 

these are the moments that are captured. 

for all learning i got, for all the best view i saw, for all beautiful noise i heard, i wish to come back there again sometimes. 

oh, for the last, a list number 7 & 8 of my 2013 bucket list is, proudly, CHECKED ! 

a heap of resolution lists this year

the first thing i really wanted to do when i turned 23 was blogging! i know it sounds real weird, but maybe by writing down things i should (no, Must with big 'M') do, and maybe knowing that people may possibly accidentally randomly click this blog, can definitely drive me to have a strongest commitment to really do those things.

what do those things refer to? 

here's the thing; as a human, i took longer time to talk than to do it and make it happen. i think i have things crossed in mind more frequently than others do. i think i like imagining and thinking more than others do. so those pictures and stuff in mind, were only described by words and a sound come out from my mouth, that's all. i need to do a perfectly significant difference with my hair, is actually only a sentence. it's written either in here or somewhere around twitter, or blackberry messenger in a conversation between me and my friend. 

so, here's the challenge i made in the 14th day of me being 23: BUCKET LISTS TO BE DONE. this is interesting since i hate living a life with a purpose of only sleeping, eating, (working, in my case), repeating, but i need things more challenging and surprising than ever.

with a little help from inspiring article i once read called "40 ways to feel more alive", here i declare my challenges, and start clicking a check on the bucket lists: 

1. learn one more music instrument 

maybe i will choose guitar, or if it's possible, violin. the thing is i really do need to play an instrument more often. piano will do, but i need something different within this year. 

2. write this blog at least 8 times a month 

it's only a blog, i know. but sometimes, in my daydreaming time, i often regret for those stories that are not captured and written when i want to recall it. i know my days wont be that terrific to share, but we'll never know where a learning can hide, especially for other people. and especially for me, i will never know if a little story about life i have been through, can be a grand present to recall for myself in the future. and, lastly, for my baby girl or boy in the future, these are what they should see about their mom. 

3. write a book 

i know this will be a list which i take the longest time to click a check. i don't wanna blame time, but what can a corporate slave blame if it's not a time?. but at least i write 1 chapter per week, and at least, i create a story. those stories in my mind before they run away. 

4. swimming 

i know it's weird, but this is the hardest thing i always want to do. i love to have my body merged with the water, i love to hear nothing when i put down my head deep in the water, i love to flow under the water and when i slowly open my eyes i feel the sun surrender the heat. i know it seems to be the easiest bucket list, but  it just looks like easy.

5. not only listening, go start creating some music instrument 

this one will be heard too much, but don't underestimate me. it is only a way to have fun in life. not for a serious matter. i don't even expect everybody to hear. but thinking to speak my mind up, this is one of the way that works. this is for a human to do, to feel more alive. no?. 

6. put at least two new books on the bookshelf every month

dreaming about having my own money previously equals to dreaming to go to the bookstores and grab those interesting books i want. here i come with some money, so i must make it happen to buy every books i want. 

7. travel to somewhere i haven't visited before at least once per two months 

what else should you do to feel more alive if it's not going somewhere you haven't been before?. no further explanation, noted. 

8. let's get out of this country !

let's see how life can surprise you in the moment you step out of your country. staying in another country has always been one hell of experience. it's exclusive and grand. it changes a life and perspective in a blink. it's a thing i've always been wanting to experience. just let's put it on the bucket lists first this year. just like i wrote in this post, to travel or not to travel, that's a question. 

9. do some voluntary activity 

voluntary work has been my passion since a long time a go. this is the thing i never look again since i move to Jakarta start living as a what-so-called corporate slave. but i realize that the only thing that can make me fulfilled is being successful to transfer something i have for surrounding. that's the value i still put in my heart, but only stays there, and haven't gone anywhere. 

10. contributing in some organizations 
perhaps it will be (still) specifically AIESEC. i don't know if there's any possibilities to do such things in other organizations similar, but now i have a wish to involve in AIESEC in any kind of activities since this organization had successfully shaped and developed me. there should be a contribution back to this organization in a year ahead and continue.

11. learning astronomy 
it will start from ordering a star wheel from amazon, and reach a friend of mine to learn a basic astronomy, and REALLY learn it, not just a piece of that. i know that i said i would always love astronomy the day i was not accepted in ITB, for astronomy major. start to recall it.

12. take a yoga class (or something similar) 
start to live well for the sake of health. besides, isn't yoga class sexy?. i don't really mean yoga anyway, it could be belly or pole dance class, or have any suggestions?.

13. learn one new language 
one language i want to learn the most now is icelandic language. will be more than happy if you guys have some reference of where and how i can learn this language. or else, other languages will do.

14. give a big family big treat 
living far from home (i dont know if bandung-jakarta is considered far) encourages me to make some big family gathering sometimes. it's rare. and, without any special occasions of mine, i will definitely make an invitation !

15. Concerts jumper 
dreams come true to every gigs lover. those bombastic bands are just about to land in the country. there's nothing i can wish again but jumping from one concert to another.

16. a massive change for hair 
for every kind of change. let's see how time can change my appearance.

and the last and the most challenging one....

17. love and commit
i know it's a cheesy kind of wish list, but i declare myself that start from now, i wish to love and commit again. loving someone is not an easy matter. it's about two sides that work, it's about a sincerity, and accepting the imperfection. life starts when we move out of our comfort zone. and it has been comfortable being self-centered, selfish, not accepting fault, perfectionist, not believing in commitment and not having it for a long time, free and wild in living a life. and it's my turn to move out of those comforts and start to create a new comfort by giving more, learning, committing, seeing a future of love in life, believing and accepting someone for his worst and best.


because life should change and we should adjust to live in it.



so, challenges accepted !

perjalanan akhir tahun 2012

jadi, ketika kalian punya banyak pertanyaan yang susah sekali ditemukan jawabannya, pergilah kesuatu tempat yang belum pernah dikunjungi. disitu, diamlah. kalian akan menyadari bahwa pada akhirnya, jawaban itu tidak ditemukan seperti harta karun; tiba-tiba dan terjadi begitu saja. jawaban itu, kalian sendiri yang buat. 

selamat bepergian dan selamat menjawab.